wanted.....

Lost: my metablolism
Last seen: somewhere in 2005
Suspects: Buffalo Wild Wings, Mazzios, and Miller Lite

Miss Eyre...

I have decided to challenge myself with my "classic read of the summer" with "Jane Eyre". I absolutly LOVE reading something that is challening and classic. I just wish that I had read something like this in High School or college so I could have some help with it and someone to discuss it with. Shane is SOOO not interested! If anyone has read it that MAY come across this let me know. I haven't finished it yet...I just got to the part where she leaves Rochester and ends up begging in a village.

holy cow.

ok. So I got another shocker call from my sis-in-law last night. My brother has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer! I am telling you people, one person in the family is a total shocker- 2 at 1 time is just too much. I couldn't sleep very well last night. My brother has 2 girls 10 and 8. This is now the 4th person in my immediate family that has had some kind of cancer. My father, my mother, a brother (deceased in the 70's), and now my oldest brother. My dads mom, 2 brothers and a sister also all had cancer. I am seriously considering SOME kind of genetic testing. I worry about my kids, my nieces and ME AND MY SIS.
To be honest, it doesn't at all seem possible that this could happen in 1 family and have it just be random. I know that cancer touches someone in every ones family. Most of the time they are fine. I am not worried that the type of cancer that my brother and my mom have will kill them right now, its the idea of not knowing if its going to come back somewhere else later. YUK.

I am struggling with worry.

best friends

Thank you to my girls for cooking meals for my parents! Jaime hosted in her beautiful home and really put in a lot of work. Everyone made it out on a rainy Sunday afternoon and added their love to each of the recipes. This will really help my family out in the coming weeks. Love y'all!

Real Housewives of Tulsa County

I think I am actually going to play around with the concept of doing my movie. Originally, I had thought of doing a documentary with a small video camera and just asking people certain questions about their lives, then following up later to see if any of their answers had changed. I had a few fun ideas of also doing it in a blog format, or a magazine type thing. I am not sure which format I am going to use. I am actually looking for feedback on whether anyone would be interested in reading, or watching such a thing; and or participating.

The idea: I am interested in women in our community and what it is that makes them "tick". What (besides finances) drives the decisions that we make? What do we dream about doing with our lives, once we've.....grown up?

I would basically put 5 or so questions out there, emailed or put on the blog. Those interested in participating, would send those answers back and we would have a few follow ups, then its over. I think it would be really cool, just for cools sake, to do this on video. ( Just so I can have an excuse for a wrap party at my house:)

I have NO intent on giving advice!

If any one is interested I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to here from you. and if no one volunteers, I will be calling in favors. HA!

all grown up?

Strange as it sounds, I feel like have been forced to grow up. I have been dealing with a sick parent since I was 10 years old, but for some reason, dealing with my MOM getting Cancer is a different story. I am just fiercly protective over her and this whole situation just pisses me off really. I don't like to think of her being fragile and ill and not being able to take care of herself. She has been such a rock for our family ( Rock of Gibralter as my God Mother coined).

I am so proud of the way she has handled everything and has been even more assertive than I expected. I couldn't believe that she actaully called the #1 oncologist in the region, WHILE HE WAS ON VACATION, ON HIS CELL PHONE, to get reassured by a specialists 2nd opinion. I know that some people have questions about why she doesn't want to talk about it, or why its taken her a while to tell everyone personally, but I think she's coming around to face it beautifully. Today we had a very funny and cadid conversation about what we will do IF she has chemo and looses her hair. (She had some friends offer to take her wig and scarf shopping.) This is leaps and bounds from a week ago, when " we aren't calling it cancer". I am thrilled that she has opened up and decided to let people who love her, be there for her. She was actually calling me today to tell me that she had friends that offered to shop, lunch and cook with her or take her to the Dr. She also doesn't want me to worry or to be inconvenienced, and to see if there was anything I needed while Shane was out of town . THE ROCK.

She cracks me up. I have a feeling that she won't be logging on here any time soon to read these blog posts, but maybe I will put a small book together for her when this "story" is over. If anyone would like to post anything on here about her or for her, I will make sure she gets it.

my closing thought.....
dealing with an aging parent or the death of a parent brings a new season of life for the children, no matter how old that child is.

Perfect snow day

I just love sitting in front of my fireplace looking out the window with the snow falling. I am snuggled in with my favorite book and blanket while Shane is quietly working in his office. The kids are coloring and reading their books and playing with blocks- then they will clean up their craft the kids take nap for 2 hours. Perfect snow day!

YAAAA RIIIGHT!

Heheheahaha. We don't like turning our fireplace on because its the ventless kinds and we feel FOR SURE that we are just "burning" money and getting poisoned while doing it. ( we KNOW that its safe, but just doesn't seem right) We have had movies, tv workouts, wrestling and tubbys and its only 2 o'clock! Its pretty cute getting the kids all bundled up to go outside: 20 mintues to find and put on all snow gear, send them out just for 10 minutes, 5 mintues of crying in wet clothes, tubbys, and a load of laundrey to follow.

I am just soooo in love with this lady! I think that everyone who has met her loves her. Honestly, she is the NICEST person anyone can every get to know. There just isn't a mean bone in her body. We are going to meet with the dr's today and hopefully get some answers to what we are looking at. I would be thrilled to have a miracle, but I know that it is all God's business. My faith in Christ has been the core to everything these last few days and this situation has strengthened that faith more than I can even express. We are loving all the support and prayers that everyone has been sending us. Thanks for that friends.

NOW GO AND CHECK YOUR TA TA'S!

p.s. Its funny- the day that we went in for the biopsy mom and I were "airbrushing" our pictures in the waiting room:)

what a difference a day makes..

I am feeling so much better now that I think the initial shock has worn off. Sitting on crap information with no idea what the future holds, leaves you in a situation with 2 choices. Accept and keep on with your life, OR just bitch about it.

Now, if anyone has ever met my mom OBVIOUSLY the second is just not in her taste; therefore, we are all following her example. Its been good for all of us to cry a little (my favorite place is the shower, then the kids can't here), talk to my sister, brother, Shane and a few good friends, and to spend some extra time with mom. But THE BEST feeling is just hanging with her and watching her deal with it with grace AND a little crazy.

Here is an "Erin adapted" phrase mom likes to say...

Life is an ocean...shit comes in waves.

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

WANTED: SOMEONE TO PLEASE TELL MY 2 YEAR OLD TO QUIT TAKING OFF HIS CLOTHES AND POOPING ON THE FLOOR IN HIS ROOM. REALLY????????????

I am feeling a bit like a crazy person. One minute I am all business and hope full and the next I am teary. Let me apologize in advance to anyone who may come in contact with me in the next week, you just never know what state I will be in. I wonder if the initial shock goes away? You'd think that by now I would be USED to dealing with health issues and my parents, but really just used to it with my dad. I don't know if I ever get used to it, but I am much less surprised when super bad stuff happens to him. I suppose its really a lesson in not taking anything for granted. I honestly thought that my mom was going to live until she was 100 and would never have any health problems. that's just being naive.

I have a feeling that she won't be reading this any time soon because She has sworn all of us to nothing less than total strength. She has always been the rock for all of us, now its our turn for her. I like what one of my friends said on her blog about the loss of her father in law.... Cancer Sucks!

I think just the WORD sucks. 6 little letters carry such a BIG meaning. Right now we don't have all of the information on how far along it is, or what the treatment will be, but just sitting on the word leaves me feeling utterly powerless and fearful. I think as a family we are ready to get the "show on the road" as she so beautifully phrased yesterday.

shocked..processing

Ok, well, the "BIG C" is back into the Reifs life again. Total shocker to have it happen to MOM of all people. She was just told Thursday that she has breast cancer. We are all in shock, especially her. She is needing a few days to process everything and would like to wait to talk until she meets with the surgeon on Wednesday.

The way I described my feelings to my mom this morning were "ya know when the roadrunner slammed the coyote with a frying pan in the face and he just stood there reverberating?". Thats how I feel.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Ok. I am SLOWLY but surely getting my project together. I would really appreciate anyone who chooses to share to post your answer on the blog. Obviously, some of us need more than a minute to answer this, and if you want to email your answer you can to ejanssen@att.net. This is fun, please don't take it too seriously. Dream big here!! This is my first stop on my "mother of all projects"! Thanks everyone!

Love to all,
Erin

I took my mom to have a biopsy done on her breast today. We will know results tomorrow or Friday. The waiting room was crazy busy. Us girls sure have ALOT of stuff we have to worry about. It Just really doesn't go away...you start, pms, try to get pregnant/get pregnant, ultrasounds, give birth, nurse, birth control, hysterectomies, hormone replacement therapy, mammograms. Did I leave anything out??? I am sure glad I had boys! God Bless the Mother of Daughters!!

What’s your wife worth?

I just couldn't help myself here. Now we all have PROOF of what our jobs are worth! There are so many priceless moments that I am able to share with my children that I wouldn't give up for anything, BUT Its still good to know there is actual solid validity to what we do everyday. Girls- check out what a working mom should get. Hello!!! I know you feel it too. Keep your heads up ladies. WE ARE IRREPLACEABLE!


All Pro Dad Daily Email Advice :: What’s your wife worth?

music choices!

I am cracking up as I listen to the music that I chose. Its hilarious to see what your mind picks when you don't think to hard about it. I have been trying, unsuccessfully, to get a music player on here for a few months. Hopefully I have it figured out. There is no way I could find 1 or even 10 songs that would "identify" me, so instead I chose to pick songs that I identify something with. Some are snuggly and lovey, one was just cool (Jack White and Alicia Keys from James Bond movie), and really Journey and Survivor are just kick ass!! ( We can all thank my Brother for developing my keen music sense for late 70's and 80's hair bands) I wish that I could have "The Eye of the Tiger" playing in my head all the time. Its like no matter what situation comes up- it makes you smile and kind of picks up your step. Also sort of reminds me not to take life so seriously!

ahhh Monday.

I love Mondays! Even though my days are mostly all the same- Monday's are always a twist. Shane gets hustling for work and I actually DO laundry, go to the store and gym. There is a sense of "the first day of school" when your all pumped about the week and getting things done. It usually fades by the end of the week but I always know that I can pick it back up in a few days.

snow day, really????

I have been stuck in the house during this super cold day. So far, we have had all kinds of carpet cleaning adventures, Noah decided he is ready to potty train and NO ONE napped. I did learn a valuable lesson though, alchohol takes out ink out of carpet. ( ink, or melted crayon, or melted foam sticker, or pen ink....not sure exactly what it was, but it was in the vaccuum and blue:)

MIA

girlfriends..... I miss you. Lets try and do a coffee or a dinner or ANYTHING soon.

This has been a crazy week. Scratch that, more like a crazy 2 months. It feels like things have been non stop around here since Halloween. Lots of birthdays, Thanksgiving, then the Christmas holidays and New Years.

I have decided to ween myself off of my anti-depressents and its a crazy journey. I just figured I could stop taking it, but NOOOO bad idea. NEVER try that. Its pretty heavy duty stuff. I absolutly loved 80% of what it did for me, but ready to move on and actually get my emotions back. They are an excellent tool to help you get through certain situations, not sure they are designed to be taken every day for the rest of your life. (unless diagnosed with clinical depression). I am not embarrassed about being on, or having been on medication. So I will probably journal the process- maybe it will help.

It feels great to get back into routine again. Kids back in preschool, Shane back to work and some actual time when I can be alone in the house. Riley and I have picked up yet another virus, so I am sure he'll be home Thursday. Its been fun playing with all the new Christmas stuff and finishing up Shane's fantasy football league #1! I am super looking forward to getting into the gym and getting the house cleaned out. It feels so minimalistic without all the Christmas decortations everwhere.

I am hoping to get some more pictures with our new camera. It seems like I have found a new hobby.